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When this occurs between officers and enlisted service members or between some other hierarchical pairing, as between a commander and an officer or enlisted soldier in her command, it can potentially undermine the chain of command, order, and discipline.

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"In a military marriage, duty is first; everything else second,” said Perkins, who lives in Honolulu with her husband, an active-duty soldier in the Army, and their four children. Military wives are not as likely to cheat as their deployed husbands.A misconception about military marriage is that it frequently involves infidelity, according to Perkins.Add to those statistics the fact that the Army has the highest percentage of married members at almost 60 percent, according to the report.So, there are still a lot of young military lads and ladies getting hitched. "Most people in their 30s and 40s don't see the stuff a 20-year-old soldier sees," Wesley Ann said.A taxi driver who recently left the Royal Logistics Corps said that during his 16 years' service he was married twice and divorced twice.

He has an eight-year-old son by one of these marriages and a child by the woman with whom he now lives, who also has two children of her own.We had to give first aid in the streets and there was this Iraqi woman who had nothing to do with it. Her arm was hanging off and her guts were hanging out and she had a baby with her."When you go home they say, 'Oh, did you kill someone? People don't understand how much blood you see when you've been shot. The blood just poured out and out."The first time I carried a body bag with someone inside it you hear this noise, swish, swish. If she takes you to her house the first thing you look at is the photos [to see if her husband is a comrade]."Several squaddies said they were tempted to get someone pregnant and get married so they could move out of barracks, where they live four to a room, into married quarters. A young squaddie described how, just before he returned from a six-month tour of duty, his 19-year-old girlfriend rang and said she did not want to see him.He discovered she is three months pregnant by another squaddie she says she does not love.While common marriage advice holds that a person should place his or her marriage above all else, military spouses often don't.Living with this reality often requires a lot of patience, said Alison Perkins, who serves as the editor of a military spouse resource website, Salute To In honor of Memorial Day, we talked to four military spouses about what what their marriages are really like, especially when one spouse is far away or in combat.